Be visible. Be you.

A Valentine's Day reminder about visibility, belonging, and the people who help us become ourselves.

Today I want to tell you a short story about Ninni, the invisible girl from the Moomins. The Moomins are a beloved Finnish children’s story series that almost every Finn knows, and they are well known around the world too, especially in Japan.

Maybe you’ve sometimes felt afraid of expressing yourself too. Afraid of being seen just as you are?

I think these days, with social media, it can feel even harder to express ourselves freely. It’s so easy to criticize from behind a screen. We share something vulnerable, and someone quickly grabs onto it, noticing a sensitive spot.

Based on a small piece of information we share, people may assume they know everything about us, twist our words, or expand one opinion into something we never meant. Or they simply judge us because we disagree.

It’s no wonder that so many of us are afraid of being truly seen.

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Ninni the invisible girl

Ninni was not invisible by nature. She became invisible because she had lived with a person who treated her with constant coldness and indifference, someone who never truly saw her. Nothing dramatic or violent, just a quiet, persistent way of making her feel small, uncertain, and wrong. Little by little, she faded and became literally invisible, until she disappeared completely. In the end, only the sound of the small silver bell around her neck revealed where she was.

When Ninni came to live with the Moomin family, they did something very simple yet powerful. They welcomed her without expectations. They spoke to her kindly, including her in everyday life. They didn’t demand that she change or hurry. They gave her time. Time to be herself. They listened to her and understood her. They saw her even though she was invisible.

And slowly, Ninni began to return. First her feet became visible, then her hands, and gradually the rest of her. It wasn’t a straightforward process. Sometimes she would become more invisible again if she felt judged, as she had before. Even though that wasn’t the case, she interpreted situations through her old experiences.

What finally made Ninni fully visible again was the moment she felt strong enough to express herself freely. Strong enough to even show her anger when someone she cared about was treated unfairly. In that moment, she was no longer afraid to exist as she truly was.

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I love that story.

I think so many of us, in our own ways, learn to make ourselves smaller. We soften our opinions, hide parts of who we are, or hold back our voice, without even noticing when it begins.

It can happen because someone has treated us wrongly before, like Ninni. It can also happen if you've been burned for speaking up, lost friends for having the wrong opinion, or if you live somewhere where being different isn't safe. Or sometimes it’s simply because we want to belong, because we fear criticism or misunderstanding, or because we want to please.

Over time, it can feel as if parts of us fade, just like happened to Ninni.

That’s why I wanted to remind you today, on Valentine’s Day, to be openly and courageously yourself. Express yourself, do the things you enjoy, reach for your dreams. No one else has the same thoughts, experiences, wishes, hopes, wisdom, and characteristics that you have. You have those dreams for a reason.

Don’t let other people’s opinions or criticism stop you from being yourself. Don’t fade or become invisible. The people who truly matter are those who appreciate and love you as you are.

I’m not saying it’s simple or easy. But I believe it’s worth it. And of course it’s easier if we have someone around us to support us. Still, I can imagine that not everyone has a Moomin family around them. But on the other hand, neither did Ninni before she happened to come across them. We never know where our path will lead us when we start moving toward our dreams, toward our true self. And we never know what kind of people and support we will find on that new journey.

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If you have people in your life who support you—who see the parts of you that you haven't felt comfortable showing anyone else and still accept you—remember to tell them you appreciate them. Maybe it's your friend, sibling, parent, grandparent, teacher, or someone from your hobby.

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So often we judge ourselves through the reactions of others, and we let that shape how visible we allow ourselves to be. But when we find people who understand us, who maybe share our interests, who encourage and support us, and who see us with kindness and acceptance, they remind us that we don’t need to be or become anything else to belong, other than being ourselves.

Writing here on Substack is my way of learning to express myself, learning to know myself, building my confidence by showing a part of me that I haven’t been using before in my life. This is my way to be more visible in my own life, even though most of the people around me don’t see this part of me. At least not yet.

That’s why I want to thank you, my dear reader, subscriber, and follower. Thank you for being here, seeing parts of me that I haven’t been used to showing so openly, and making me feel accepted. 💗

And thank you, my newest friend across the sea, for being that kind of person to me who’s supporting me in being more visible. I met you after I started my own change journey. After I took the first steps toward my dream. You know who you are. Your support and friendship are helping me flourish, helping me believe in these new parts of my identity as I am just forming them.🌺💕

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And finally, before you go, I would like to ask for you:

What could be one small step you could take today toward being a little more visible in your life?

Thank you for being here today.

Be visible. Be you.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 💞😊

With love,
Kirsi-Maria