The Boring Truth About Procrastination I Learned at The Breakfast Table
Lessons about procrastination. As so many times before in life - my kids were the teachers.
It’s weekday morning, and in 25 minutes, kids should be heading to school. I had reminded them several times to brush their teeth and comb their hair before breakfast.
I said it once, twice and soon again. Nothing happened, and time was running out.
Then with a fourth time my voice sharpened, and I could feel myself getting irritated. This situation was too familiar. Mornings, and evenings, same themes and the same loop, time after time.
I would totally prefer to use my time and energy differently than acting as a living reminder. In my mind, I seemed like a parrot who had been taught only a few words, which she kept repeating day after day.
Why this keeps happening?
Once the morning routine was finally done, and kids were eating breakfast, I asked them why this seems to happen so often?
My kids are 6 and 9 years old, so it’s really not that they wouldn’t understand or be able to concentrate on those kinds of instructions and tasks.
I asked whether they think they wouldn’t have to do these things at all if they just waited long enough?
If they think I would forget?
”No. That’s not it.” Both answered right away.
“It’s just SO BORING.”
I might be guilty as well
In that moment I reached some sort of deeper understanding toward my children’s actions related to many similiar situations.
I could relate to their experience. I delay plenty of things myself. Things I know are necessary and should just get done, but I keep pushing them off.
I also don’t think they’ll just eventually disappear (well some of them do if I’m “late enough” :P). And it’s not that I wouldn’t care either.
It’s because they do feel boring, dull, uncomfortable, or somehow unpleasant.
Emails, paperwork, planning, cleaning, or even some decisions, when there’s just a pile of unfinished tasks and uncertain things hanging in the air, so that I cannot decide where to start or which schedule would work.
So I could totally understand my kids. Maybe my reasons go beyond boredom, but I do the exact same thing they do, just with different things.
And hey, the habit is so common that there’s even a word of its own for it:
Procrastination.
What is procrastination?
Procrastination means that you are delaying or postponing tasks that need to be done, even when you know waiting will likely cause problems or stress. It’s the habit of putting things off until the last minute.
For example, if you have a work project due Friday but keep saying you’ll start it “tomorrow,” and then tomorrow comes and you still don’t begin, that’s procrastination. You might end up rushing it through at Thursday night, feeling stressed and quilty thinking “Why did I leave this till las minute again?”.
Why do we procrastinate?
People procrastinate for different reasons.
Sometimes it’s because a task feels overwhelming or boring. Sometimes it’s due to perfectionism; fear that you won’t do it well enough so you avoid starting. Other times it’s simply easier to do something more enjoyable in the moment, even though you know you should be working on something else.
The irony, of course, is that while procrastination feels good in the moment (you get to relax or do something fun), it usually creates bigger problems later: missed deadlines, lower quality work, anxiety, and stress. But in that immediate moment, your brain chooses the relief of avoidance over the discomfort of facing the task.
That’s why many people try to break the procrastination habit by starting tasks earlier or breaking big projects into smaller, more manageable pieces.
It all comes down to avoiding difficult emotions
From a psychological perspective, procrastination stems from several interconnected factors, like perfectionism, or how we are often more drawn to immediate gratification, or maybe we really struggle with planning and feel overwhelmed, but it all comes down to emotion regulation.
Procrastination is fundamentally about avoiding unpleasant emotions.
Procrastination is not about laziness. We procrastinate because doing the task produces uncomfortable feelings, like anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, boredom, feelings of inadequacy, uncertainty, or the discomfort of effort itself. When we procrastinate, we temporarily relieve that discomfort by letting ourselves do something more pleasant.
We’re not avoiding the task itself, but the emotional weight associated with it.
In children, boredom and lack of interest tend to be the most prominent factors when procrastinating. In fact, studies have shown that boredom is one of the strongest emotional predictors of procrastination, especially in simple, repetitive, and mandatory tasks.
Lesson learned
Today taught me that yes, children procrastinate too. Even in something so everyday as brushing their teeth.
It also taught me that this habit, procrastination, starts this early in our lives.
No wonder it sticks with us so strongly.
In the future, I’ll understand better that the issue isn’t necessarily that my child doesn’t listen, understand, or want to do what I’ve asked, or lacks the ability to concentrate. The issue could genuinely be procrastination, a habit that’s so familiar to us adults too.
Our brains naturally seek immediate relief and pleasure rather than willingly face uncomfortable emotions.
Understanding that procrastination is fundamentally an emotion avoidance strategy helps us realize that willpower alone won’t solve it. Sometimes we can try to break the habit by starting tasks earlier or breaking big projects into smaller, more manageable pieces.
Bur studies show that managing tasks alone rarely beats procrastination. The real key is building tolerance for uncomfortable feelings. Learning to sit with anxiety, boredom, or self-doubt while still moving forward with our tasks.
Maybe for children that tolerance doesn’t build up so easily, but having clarity and some small rewards might help.
For example, we ended up writing a morning routine list together with the kids, including all the things they should have done before leaving for school.
We agreed that in the end, it's their own responsibility to check whether they've done everything—not mine, even though I might still help and remind them.
If everything goes well, they’ll automatically get one hour of screen time that day.
And yes, I know this could easily turn into a threat: You won’t get to watch if…, since kids are at their screens almost every day anyway. But instead, I tried to frame it more as an incentive: “You’ll get to watch today if…” :D
I’d love to hear about your children’s typical procrastination, and what this writing brought up for you.
Does this all sound familiar to you?
And finally:
Are you procrastinating on some task right now?
What emotion are you actually trying to avoid?
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This makes a lot of sense. We all put things off when they feel uncomfortable. It’s helpful to remember kids are doing the same thing.
This is such a profound insight from the breakfast table, Kirsi-Maria. Procrastination as emotion avoidance, not laziness, changes everything. Kids delaying toothbrushing because it's *boring*, adults dodging emails for the same reason... it's all the nervous system sidestepping discomfort.
I see this daily with high‑achieving women whose bodies have learned to equate "unpleasant task" with threat. Building tolerance for those feelings (not just better systems) is the quiet revolution. Love your incentive flip.. smart, gentle regulation in action. 🌿